Standards: Have them

Many of us get used to things that we truly don't deserve. Personally I hate settling and lowering my standards in all aspects of life whether it be settling with an outfit, car or guy that truly doesn't deserve me, I have promised myself to always stick to my standards and never settle. Most of my friends see it as having too many standards or possibly even thinking too highly of myself, but it's not about that. It's about respecting yourself enough to know you deserve better, and that you're worth more. For example: it's your birthday, and you have been dying to treat yourself to a beautiful day at the beach or massage session, but your significant other doesn't want to accompany you due to the fact that he or she isn't really into whatever you have planned and would rather stay home. UM, Bye? It's your birthday, instead of planning your day around them, the day should be about you. Many of you may read this and think obviously you would just choose someone else to go with, but many girls sad to say don't think that way, they would rather lower their standards and settle for whatever agenda their significant other has planned. Im no relationship expert, but I do know that settling and lowering your standards will only set you back and hurt you in the road ahead.

Things to keep in mind when you're in a relationship:

1. There has to be compromise. It can't always be your way, just as it can't always be his way.
2. Don't ever settle based on the fact that you're afraid you won't have the chance to meet someone new or someone who could love you more, because you can.
3. If you're accustomed to a certain lifestyle because you've worked hard and you deserve it, don't apologize and feel guilty. You just need to meet someone who's on the same level and shares the same lifestyle. 
4. Do you. At the end of the day if someone can't accept you for who you are then it's time to move on and focus on you and the right guy or better yet the guy who is gonna treat you right will come (or so I've heard). 

I know this topic will be very controversial for some people as they might not see where I'm coming from, but for those of you who do, I salute you, and as the classy, Coco Chanel once said "Keep your Heels, Head, and Standards High"

Recipe for the "Right" Guy

"He wasn't the right one" A phrase often heard after a break-up or the realization that you have just wasted the past six months to a year with a douche. What does "the right one" even mean? Does he wipe your tears when you cry? Does he open doors? Does he finish your sentences? My Favorite: Does he love you like a fat kid loves cake? To me "the right one" means that he has certain qualities and standards that make for the man of my dreams (Justin Timberlake). Every woman's set of standards to which she feels the guy is the right fit is completely different. As an experiment I met up with a bunch of my girlfriends and asked them what ingredients they look for in a guy that make up the recipe for the "right guy". Some of the qualities included: 

• Communication Skills
• Humor
• Family Oriented
• Motivated
• Intelligence
• Chemistry

Personally, I agree with almost every quality mentioned, but I realized some of the qualities I look for, and base my decision on whether or not the dude is right for me were not even on the radar for my girls. For me it's all about :

• Loyalty
• Ambition
• Open-Mindedness 
• Generosity 

Not much right? WRONG. Finding a guy that posses' all the qualities you are looking for is close to looking for a unicorn, but that's why women like my friends and I have had trouble finding the "right one" because relationships and love are all about the right recipe. A little bit of this, and a pinch of that, makeup the man of our dreams, but recipes change depending on the person, and that person's taste.  

I must say, if anyone is picky, its me. I am slowly learning that dudes are not perfect and neither am I, but it also doesn't mean that I should totally give up my standards. It's really all about balancing the good with the bad. Example: the guys you see who date those bimbos? It's all possible because the dude is willing to compromise a good convo for the fact that she's gorgeous and great in bed. Totally not trying to stereotype, but it's the easiest example I could think of. It's all about the give and take. Keep some standards, but don't overwhelm yourselves trying to find the perfect guy, because he doesn't exist, and whats perfect to you now, will probably change. 

Ladies, put down your lists, put your freakum' dresses on, and go out there and live life. The "right" guy will make his way to you when the time is right, and the ingredients seem fit for the recipe of your life.  So, if there is any advice I can tell you girls out there it's this: stop looking for the "right" guy, finding a dude that has every quality that's on your checklist is going to leave you with gray hair and dry panties.